Are you dissatisfied with your weight? Are you feeling frustrated because you are trying so hard to lose weight, and even when you do, the pounds seem to slip back on again? Do you feel you are in a losing battle, helpless to be the weight you want to be?
Well if you are, know that you are not alone. Many people have similar feelings and frustrations with the "Battle of the Bulge." As a psychotherapist, I counseled many people with a variety of problems. One issue that often came up was weight control. Over the years, I have learned some important insights into the reasons why we have so much trouble being our desired weight.
To begin with, there are two parts of us in our subconscious which are in a tug of war. We will call them the positive and the negative scared parts. The positive part pulls you in one direction as it says, "I want to lose weight." Simultaneously, the negative scared part pulls you the opposite way, as it screams, "I'm afraid to lose weight!", and sabotages all your efforts.
As you can see, if you are not your desired weight, it is often because the negative scared part is in control. Therefore, you need to get in touch with and overcome your specific fears around weight loss so that the positive part can win the battle. The following are some of the negative decisions or fears, which were uncovered in my clients' unconscious that were keeping them from being their desired weight:
1. "If I'm slim and attractive, people will reject me." (Peers were jealous of her attractiveness as she developed around the age of twelve.)
2. "It's not safe to be slim." (She was molested.)
3. "If I'm slim, I will attract another relationship and I'm afraid to get hurt again." (She was hurt in a previous relationship so she built a wall of fat to protect herself.)
4. "If I'm slim, I will be sick." (She was very slim and sick when she was a child.)
5. "If I'm slim, I will be weak." (A bully attacked him when he was ten.)
6. "I'm afraid I won't have enough food later." (When he was a child, he was often hungry.)
7. "I can't handle all the attention I get from men." (She was very attractive when she was slim.)
8. "I'm afraid that he will only want me for my body." (She felt she was not appreciated for her intelligence.)
9. "Food means love and attention." (As a child she only experienced love and attention when she was fed.)
10. "I'm afraid to feel my feelings." (She stuffed her feelings, especially fear and anger.)
After the clients identified and overcame their fears of being their desired weight, they often said, "This is the first time in my life that I'm finding my weight loss program effortless". They realized that their unconscious negative part was quiet and was no longer fighting their willful efforts to be slim
